This post is Wolverine XXX Parodypart ofHard Refresh,a soothing weekly column where we try to cleanse your brain of whatever terrible thing you just witnessed on Twitter.
In times of crisis, I turn to ancient gelatinous Cnidarians to soothe my soul.
They call these creatures "jellyfish." As the victim of multiple jellyfish attacks, I prefer to ogle them from a remove, either from behind an aquarium glass wall, or failing that, a computer screen.
They and all their delightfully lethargic underwater friends provide much comfort during hard times, (a.k.a. all times at this point.)
SEE ALSO: Sister Helen Prejean's Twitter account is proof that the world still has good in itThough I wish I could spend an hour a day at the New England Aquarium, for those of us who don't have access to aquariums/are too cool to live in Boston, there are plenty of aquarium live feeds online, available free of charge. Plus, a study published in Environment and Behaviorfound that well-stocked aquariums, like pets, have a soothing effect on humans. Watching a tank for five minutes can temporarily relieve anxiety. It's like having a margarita with none of the puking.
There's just something so primitively comforting about seeing an illuminated blob fart around in a tank. It's slow-paced aquatic living.
Personally, I rely on a combination of live feeds and long feed recordings featured on YouTube. Here are a few suggestions for where to get your underwater fix:
It's like a Windows screensaver, but good.
What these sea nettles lack in color they make up for in sheer blobiness.
Sea otters are healing. Please don't bring up the *one* time a group of otters were caught on camera banding together to kill a monkey at the Bronx Zoo. Thesearen't thoseotters.
Baby belugas > adult humans, most days of the week.
I've dreamed of the Great Barrier Reef ever since playing Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? as a child. Now my dream can play out on-screen right in front of me.
It's a stunning potpourri of sea creatures.
This cam will lull you into an afternoon nap.
Most of the time I check this channel, the walruses aren't even there. I'm cool with it. The idea that walruses might one day show up is healing on its own.
It's not live, nor is it technically real, but it has everything these other cams lack: songs, dance, and forks that double as hairbrushes.
Watch and restore thyself.
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