【Jia’s Ecstatic Sex (2023) Uncut】

Madness is Jia’s Ecstatic Sex (2023) Uncutupon us.

And yes, that means March Madness, or if you're non-sports fan, that time of year where a whole ton of people flood Twitter with ALL CAP TWEETS and congregate in dive bars to yell about basketball. It's one of the best times of the year if you're a sports fan, and if you're not, it can probably be the worst.

SEE ALSO: Barack Obama's March Madness picks are here, and people have THOUGHTS

For any beginner who's not familiar with basketball, understanding the NCAA Tournament can be a bit daunting. Luckily, there's a way that even the most basketball-averse can understand March Madness, and that's by comparing it to the universal language of the internet: Game of Thrones.

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So if you're inkling to know the main storylines and teams of this year's tournament, and know nothing about basketball, but everything about Game of Thrones, you've come to the right place. Here are the main teams to watch in this March, broken down by comparing them to their character equivalent in Westeros.

Winter (err, March) is here.

No. 1 Virginia: Jon Snow

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Top seeded Virginia may have lost De'Andre Hunter to a broken wrist, but they've proven that their stalwart defense is just as strong as The Wall, and it makes them the best contender in the field to vie for a championship. They're well coached, scrappy and shine as a cohesive team. Put simply, they know how to play basketball as well as Jon Snow knows how to fight. They may not have the curly black locks, or the tenacity to come back from the dead, but expect Virginia to go into every game fighting as if they were staving off white walkers at Castle Black.

No. 2 Duke: King Joffrey

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All you need to know about Duke is that they are a perennial powerhouse, but widely hated. It might just be because they're good, or it might just be because they've got a kid named Grayson Allen who uses "hyper competitiveness" as an excuse to trip people. Yes, even with his behind (but BOY did it make for one helluva meme). So they're all powerful, and completely despicable. Sound like someone you know? Yup, King Joffrey.

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And not to put too fine a point on the metaphor, a great many people are hoping Duke chokes.

Also, there's this:

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No. 4 Arizona: Daenerys

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Long an outsider to Westeros, Khaleesi Daenerys cultivated her power and an army of unsullied across the Narrow Sea. While the Lannisters, Starks and just about everyone else fought for power in the shadow of the Iron Throne, the mother of dragons rose to power out of sight and waited for her moment to strike. It's not too different from Arizona's path to the tournament this year. Many feel they've been overlooked, especially after the selection committee stuck them with relatively low seed (No. 4). Arizona's also got a dragon of its own: DeAndre Ayton, a 7-foot-1, 265-pound force of nature who's widely considered to be the best player in the country.

No. 3 Tennessee: Tyrion Lannister

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Tennessee has as good a shot as anyone to take the title this year with the SEC player of the year (Grant Williams) and SEC coach of the year (Rick Barnes). They've got a championship pedigree, but are often forgotten behind national powerhouses like Louisville, North Carolina and Kansas. It's similar to how Tyrion Lannister is frequently overlooked despite coming from the most powerful and wealthy family in Westeros. He's often discredited and labeled a delinquent drunk, despite his charm and crafty ability to talk himself out of any thorny situation. Tennessee's even got the swagger to match, see for yourself:

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No. 5 Kentucky: The Hound aka Sandor Clegane

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Once the the enforcer for Joffrey's rule of the Iron Throne, the Hound is known as one of the most powerful and dangerous fighters in Westeros. Year in and year out, Kentucky is always one of the most powerful basketball teams in the country. But this season, they fell out of the Associate Press' Top 25 poll for the first time in almost four years. Had you called the season in January, you might have thought they were out for the count. (Sound's similar to when Arya left the Hound for dead, no?) But they've turned this season around with some incredibly athletic and bruising physical play. Think of the Hound's fighting style, just in basketball form.

No. 10 Oklahoma: Jaime Lannister

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Jaime Lannister has always wanted to be good, but hasn't always known the best way of doing so. From slaying the Mad King to doing everything he can to help his sister, he's tried so hard to be great, even when he couldn't. Sounds a lot like Oklahoma this year. Its main point of success this year has been Trae Young, an explosive freshman guard with a gifted ability to score. He's got such a knack for scoring that he's been drawing comparisons to current NBA star Steph Curry since the beginning of the year. But that ability to score hasn't always been there. And when Young's talent tanks so does his team.

No. 8 Missouri: Sansa Stark

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Whether it's reclaiming Winterfell from the god-awful Ramsay Bolton, or beating Little Finger at his own manipulative games, Sansa Stark has emerged as one of the most powerful figures in Westeros. But it's been a rather slow burn to the top. Missouri's season has unfolded in a similar way. the Tigers lost Michael Porter Jr., arguably the best NBA prospect coming into the year, for most of the season following spinal surgery. But now he's back in the lineup and could bolster a formidable tournament run.

No. 13 Marshall: Samwell Tarly

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Everyone needs an underdog to root for. In Westeros, there's no better underdog to get behind than the jovial and ever-loyal Samwell Tarly. Whether he's shattering white walkers with dragon glass or doing whatever he can to support Jon Snow, Tarly is everyone's charming soul to love on Game of Thrones. In the tournament this year, No. 13 Marshall has good a chance as anyone to become this year's Cinderella. Led by junior Jon Elmore, the Thundering Herd might just have their eyes set on busting brackets this March.

Topics Game Of Thrones