【2005 Archives】

When John Legend was in high school005 Archives he loved playing music and performing with his friends. Yet he sensed these passions didn't make him a man in the traditional sense of the word.

"Obviously in high school, sports culture is so dominant, and the most popular kids are usually the athletes, particularly for men," says Legend. "So it’s hard to feel as confident about yourself if you’re not at the top of that food chain, if you’re not the biggest, the fastest, the strongest."

In order to conquer that social hierarchy, some young men might be tempted to embrace toxic masculinity—a version of manhood that has no tolerance for vulnerability. But Legend has another idea: "encourage young men to love themselves and love who they are."

That's why the Grammy- and Oscar-winning songwriter teamed up with Axe to launch a program that helps high school boys develop a more inclusive and expressive definition of masculinity.

"Senior Orientation" will initially connect Legend and the poet Carlos Andrés Gómez with several high school seniors in Columbus, Ohio. Legend and Gómez will mentor the students and help them develop artistic performances. The program will culminate in a school event this fall where Legend, Gómez, and their mentored students will perform.

"It’s encouraging creativity, encouraging individuality, rejecting things like bullying and behaviors that belittle other people," Legend says, describing his vision for inclusive masculinity.

The program uses a curriculum developed by Gómez, a former teacher and social worker, to help teen boys identify the messages they hear about masculinity and guide them in developing their own unique definition.

Axe, the men's grooming brand once known for its wildly macho ads, has been preaching the virtues of inclusive masculinity since launching its "Find Your Magic" campaign, with Legend's support, last year. In May, the brand unveiled an ad reassuring its customers that they weren't alone in secretly questioning masculine stereotypes.

When Legend thinks of toxic masculinity, he thinks of boys and men who bully and belittle others because of their own fears or insecurities. While that phenomenon is timeless, it feels particularly relevant these days as President Trump uses the presidential pulpit to scold and intimidate his enemies, and neo-Nazis and white supremacists arm themselves with weapons at public gatherings to defend Confederate monuments.

"I think [fear] is the case with a lot of toxic masculinity," he says. "It’s fear of powerlessness, fear of being replaced or displaced or not being dominant and then lashing out in a way that is violent ... And I think there’s some sense of grievance that you see particularly with those who are marching in Charlottesville where they feel like something’s been taken from them and they’re trying in the most heinous ways and the most toxic ways to reclaim some position in society."

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It's a long way from trying to dismantle toxic masculinity in one Ohio high school to changing an entire culture, but "Senior Orientation" is a pilot effort that Axe hopes to eventually replicate at schools across the country (though Legend won't personally show up at every campus where it's adopted).

Gómez says that instead of shaming boys for behavior that could be characterized as toxic masculinity, the goal is to help them embrace and express traits or qualities they feel are stifled because of traditional stereotypes. That could mean crying in public, painting with watercolors, or wearing a pastel-colored shirt. Gómez, a self-described "emo poet," knows that some boys and men are skeptical of challenging masculine norms because they think it means constantly expressing their emotions.

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"That’s the cool thing," Gómez jokes, "You don’t have to be me."

But Gómez says his response often raises a terrifying question for some skeptics who then wonder, "Well, who am I supposed to be?"

That is something that only a boy or man can answer for himself, but Gómez says the point of dismantling toxic masculinity in your own life is freeing yourself from the "suffocating" idea that you can only be one kind of man.

"I think so many young people are figuring out who they want to be," says Legend.

"The more we encourage young men to love themselves and love who they are and be confident in themselves, they won’t need to bully anybody and they won’t need to belittle other people to feel good about themselves."