【Secret Confessions (2025) Wifey's BFF Episode 48】

Disney's highly anticipated Aladdinis here,Secret Confessions (2025) Wifey's BFF Episode 48 but we know better than to expect anything groundbreaking from another needless live-action adaptation. While remake has pleasantly surprised most critics with colorful costumes and charismatic leads, Aladdin's signature songs are its biggest disappointment.

From Mashable's own Angie Han: "Guy Ritchie and his team seem to have no idea how to stage and shoot a musical number," which is precisely the opposite of what you want to hear about the director of a movie musical (much less one who was married to Madonna).

So, where and how did Aladdinbotch its opportunities for movie musical greatness? Let us count the ways.

SEE ALSO: The new Aladdin is the best part of Disney's new 'Aladdin'

Aladdin is tricky to negotiate from a representational standpoint because it was never based on one specific culture. The animated film was an amalgam of Middle Eastern and South Asian visual inspirations, and the live-action takes this at face value, doing the same and adding literally nothing to it. This piece references Bollywood dance numbers a few times, not because of any confusion about where Aladdintakes place, but because India has a booming film industry that thrives on movie musicals that Disney would've done well to study.

It's disappointing to see that in attempting to pay homage to Eastern dance traditions, Aladdinopted to go the So You Think You Can Danceroute and whittle these art forms down to what the West already recognizes of them. American reality shows have gladly co-opted Indian dance in particular and repackaged only the most harsh, angular movements (which I've written about before – and before before) – so the end result looks more like fitness than fine art.

Dozens of Middle Eastern dance styles go unknown in the West, while bellydance has been sanitized and mainstreamed for popular consumption, much like yoga. Erasing the grace and expression of these styles strips away what makes them so irresistible to watch in the first place.

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The dancing in live-action Aladdin features a conspicuously high amount of tutting, which features prominently in funk and hip hop (a specialty of choreographer Jamal Sims, who worked on Step Up). These dance moves draw inspiration from ancient Egyptian drawings to create geometric shapes with the body, but tutting only gained popularity in the last century.

It doesn't help that during almost every dance sequence in Aladdin, the footage appears to have been specially shot so that the dancers move faster than most human beings are physically capable of doing. It's a jarring visual choice that you'll sense even if you're not a dancer, the same way you just sense when an actor has been digitally de-aged or otherwise altered from our known reality.

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That decision does demonstrate the filmmakers' awareness of screen vs. stage possibilities, but unfortunately they don't push it much further. Live-action Aladdinmeans adding digital flair with magic and flying carpets, but it also means the songs have freedom to cut between locations or costumes, and to cut together choreography that would physically limit stage actors who have to perform it in one run instead of with breaks.

Yet none of these advantages are used. Other than those weirdly sped-up portions, the Aladdin choreography is shockingly low-energy, with the most offensive choice being to not fill the frame within an inch of its life.

Take for example, the 2015 Bollywood song "Malhari" from the movie Bajirao Mastani. Lead actor Ranveer Singh always exudes energy, even with simple movements. The camera tracks his motion, and the frame is bursting with dancers at any given moment. Dozens if not hundreds of men populate the frame, some appearing as mere shadows in the background or entering for four counts just to throw powder in the air:

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In contrast, every wide shot of "Prince Ali" reminds you that there are maybe two dozen dancers in the whole number. There's always empty space between the parade and Agrabah's onlookers, and whenever the frame is full the background actors simply stand and cheer. There's dizzying color where there should be choreographed chaos.

This is baffling. Disney is hardly struggling with a budget that won't allow for more dancers or extras. Aladdinis not a movie constricted by reality; a hundred more dancers, hype men, and animals could be thrown in here and explained away as "genie magic" (an explanation used in the film for Aladdin's Clark Kent-level disguise as Ali).

SEE ALSO: 'Aladdin' review roundup: What critics thought of Disney's live-action remake

Multiple Middle Eastern dance traditions incorporate props or objects and would have made for spectacular visuals in Aladdin. The shamadanfrom Egypt incorporates a large candelabrum for wedding celebrations. The ardahfeatures men holding swords or sticks and is literally derived from an Arabic "to parade." The song could've used a dance break interlude to showcase any of these styles, but instead the only major change it undergoes is the new lyric "Heard your princess was HOT, where is she?"

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A new scene has Aladdin and Jasmine dancing together at a party the Sultan hosts in the palace (dear Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, who are definitely not reading this: Hereis where you should've added a musical number, not Jasmine's straight-out-of-Hit-List-in-Smash-Season-2 power ballad).

This is a primeopportunity to build chemistry, but it's painfully tepid. I wouldn't have cared if they redid that one Bride and Prejudicesong shot-for-shot with Middle Eastern folk dance inspiration. Aladdin and Jasmine join the rest of the dancers in a circular formation that lends itself to Middle Eastern and East African folk dances including dabkeand līwa, or even Indian garba, but they do none of these. They don't even look at each other like this!

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Jasmine and the other women do partake of some social belly dance, which is culturally accurate even if the choreography is nothing amazing and modern belly dance only evolved in the last century or two (and despite the cultural permission, Aladdindecides Jasmine's midriff is too scandalous to ever be seen).

Perhaps Aladdinlimited itself based on the strengths of its actors, but this itself is a restriction of the stage musical mindset. Your star does not have to be your best dancer or singer (nor is there any shame in playback singing), but should have the charisma to captivate an audience even when surrounded by chaos. Aladdindoesn't even give its leads that chance.

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